The Worst Part About Being Single
Let me tell you the WORST part about being single…
Being asked why I’m single.
There it is.
Singleness isn’t the issue. Unfortunately, it’s the constant questions and sad head tilts that are linked to it that would drive any human crazy.
Here’s the thing: when I was a teenager, I used to plan out my wedding day, the dress I’d wear, the song I’d enter in, the guest list, the bridesmaids, everything. I had it all figured out. The only thing I was missing was a husband. At 15, I thought I’d be married by 21. At 19, I thought for sure by 23. Now, at 31, I have no idea. If I’m being honest, it used to bother me. The child in me was dying inside. I wanted to be a young bride so bad that every man I dated was my future husband. The man could’ve been completely psychotic, and I would’ve found a way to insert him into my image of my future family. And trust me, I was really trying. But after all the hardships and disappointments, I finally understood why I’m single.
I’m single because, for years, I was chasing the wrong idea of what love was. I thought getting married made you elite. I didn’t care about having my life together; as long as I had a husband, I had won. But now, at 31, all I can do is thank God. I thank God for every time I wanted something with my whole heart, but He said no. I thank God for all the times I made googly eyes at the wrong guy, but he never looked back at me. Every single situation that has happened since I started dating has forced me to learn something about myself and helped me realize what I deserve.
For anyone struggling with singleness, let me say this. You’re not losing; you’re living the life that’s meant for you. And contrary to what people might think, you’re not falling behind in life. There’s something you’re supposed to do and learn in this season. Don’t waste it chasing something that is not meant for you. Focus on being present in this season and embracing it with your whole heart, and watch as things start falling into place. I truly believe what is meant for you will never skip you; It will find you. But make sure you’re ready to receive it. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to rush to the altar to appease the people who have a problem with your singleness.
Am I looking forward to the day I meet my soulmate? Absolutely. But am I sitting miserably at my window sill waiting for The One to come knocking? Absolutely not. But am I tired of having people ask me why I’m still single? Definitely, so please stop :)
God’s timing is everything. Don’t be the one who makes someone else feel bad about the direction of their life because they haven’t lived up to your standard of living. Let God lead them in their destined path.
And as always, I’m here for you.
Love, Deborah
